I am no longer "on the market", however I am writing as I recently became aware of mistruths and distorted information about me online. This website is to clear the air.
When the posts with mistruths and distorted information posts were published, the facts of the matter are:
- Accusations of serial cheating / No “serial cheating.” Since my divorce and up to the timeframe of the posting(s), I had not been in a committed romantic relationship. My focus was on my kids, on work, and on not tying myself up in a relationship, with just anyone, until I was very confident about a person. I've always made it clear upfront that I formalize relationships the old‑fashioned way—by clearly asking someone to be my girlfriend. Without a committed relationship, there is nothing to “cheat” on.
- Accusations of being a serial dater / Dating ≠ “serial dating.” I date to find one right person. If there’s no real connection after a first date, I move on. I have never intentionally led anyone on. If that still happened, I can only apologize at this point and wish you the best. I’m not interested in keeping someone around just to have a warm body.
- Accusations of manipulation / Not manipulative. Manipulation is self‑defeating and incompatible with partnership. I’m direct, communicative, and I don’t force outcomes. If I were manipulative, I’d have manufactured a relationship by now; I haven’t—because that’s not who I am.
- Accusations of narcissism (dating profile website) / Not narcissistic. A past website where I openly listed my flaws was intentional. Admitting weaknesses and inviting scrutiny is the dictionary definition opposite of narcissism. That page was meant to weed out, not to impress. I make mistakes and I own them.
- No Physical Violence. No evidence. No findings. No violence toward my ex‑wife nor our children. I’ll supply any documents for someone to verify this.
- Boundaries and safety. Unfortunately, as I have learned and you may have experienced yourself--- people can get nasty when they don't get what they want. And, over the last 3.5 years I’ve encountered situations where not only did the other party risk their safety, they also risked mine, and I've come across situations where people were disingenuous, directly or indirectly working me for some angle that was not akin to partnership, and there are those that have crossed my boundaries inappropriately. I’ve also been pushed unsolicited “arrangements.” I declined.
- Marriage. I was married for almost 9 years. We had a falling out heavily during and after the pandemic. But even then we were and are very different people, with different non aligned personalities. As life got more complex, the misalignment got more pronounced. At first she wanted the divorce, then I wanted the divorce. The divorce was moving forward without issue, however then became contentious . I will not bad mouth my ex-wife, she is also the mother of my children, but what I will say that it was a rough period of my life. We get along amicably now but there was a time of heavy animosity.
- Supporting Documentation. There is plenty of correspondence and other records that shed light on the truth and refute these accusations. The posts provide no proof/evidence, solely hearsay. And, the posts are generally anonymous so I cannot speak to each party individually, however based on the contexts I presume the sources are from 1-3 parties where the scenario was, fundamentally, "oil" met "water".
- Reputation. I value my reputation. I'm not a saint, I've made mistakes, so judge me on those... not on things that aren't even true or are distortions of the truth devised by a resentful party. I will admit to being difficult to read at times, and at one point was so focused on the stresses of work that I lost myself in that, and therein inadvertently neglected budding relations. And, sometimes I could have done a better job communicating my feelings in a way that was more attuned to the other party.
- Impact. The referenced social media posts have harmed me and, by extension, my children. Relationship-wise, career-wise. Although my interactions with the posters were brief, the harm is lasting. Whatever the dispute, their response was neither fair nor proportionate nor ethical. I recall and have retained records of every interaction. Despite my respectful conduct in prior disputes, certain parties escalated to personal attacks. I will not retaliate; instead, I am seeking legal relief to mitigate the harm, though some damage cannot be undone.
Bottom line
Judge me on my actual mistakes and screw ups, or by my actual actions and direct communication, not by rumors. Just as, I presume, you would want me to do regarding you.
Defamatory accusations, contextless statements, and personal attacks have serious consequences, including potential infringements of rights, invasion of privacy, and damage to career/employment standing and opportunities--- consequences that also affect my Children's safety and stability.
Moreover, that conduct meets harassment under CCP §527.6 and may qualify as stalking under PC §646.9. It is also coercive control under Family Code §6320. As such, those who attempt to vilify me are effectively, already, legally, the aggressor/harasser themselves. And, Once identified, your conduct will be referred to law enforcement for criminal review, and I will pursue all civil remedies to the fullest extent permitted by law. Anonymity is not a shield—I can and will lawfully seek your identity through court‑authorized subpoenas and related process. That process is currently underway.